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Unfiltered: A new resting place.

I want to write this blog on an extra personal level tonight. I wan to stay real and unfiltered.

I experienced a season of hungering for the presence of God. I'm over it.


My search to encounter God in a new way sometimes has challenges, but it also experiences breakthrough.

My motivation for this search and devotion for the presence of God? ... ... To feel. I wanted to always have the feeling that He is aware of me and of my life issues. Wanting to "feel" love and affection is a natural part of who we are...

However, the journey with God is that of faith, not feelings. The word of God tells us in the book of Hebrews 11:1 Now faith is the substance for those things hoped for, the evidence of things unseen...

Did you read that? The EVIDENCE. 



For me evidence represented a tangible substance. Evidence is a fact. Evidence can be documented. Evidence can be seen. But not with God, no with God we have to believe before we can see. We must faith-it-out ... and then when He shows up the feeling of knowing that He was walking ahead of me brings is a renewed confidence.

Deuteronomy 31:8 The Lord Himself goes before you; He will never leave you, nor forsake you. Do not be afraid and do not be discouraged. 

We live in a culture that encourages and promotes the high toxic amount of "feel good" moments. We expect a life free of sadness, free of troubles, free of heartbreak and rejection. And we start to believe we can attain the fantasy world we experience when we are scrolling. 

But when we don't experience any of the above, we get discouraged. We start to believe our situation will never change. We compare ourselves. We self loathe. And this toxic mentality creeps in fear. 

The word of God is so GOOD and so very precise. Because see, if we believed then this depressive and anxious state of mind wouldn't happen, WAIT! Let me rephrase (let's be honest, depression happens to us ALL) ... let's say, this depressive and anxious state of mind would be easier to overcome.


               When I first started writing this Blog I was experiencing spiritual warfare. 



A lot was at stake and I needed that presence of God and I desperately needed His holy Spirit because it was the only way I was going to be released from the spiritual and emotional things that were manifesting on me physically. I was fighting for my sanity and the stability of my emotional health. Scripture says in Ephesians 6:12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.

After the chaos of my war was all set and done, I hungered for more highs during worship sessions. I longed for my fix (sort of speak)... I wanted to focus and fixate on feelings that singing and praising God brought to me. My praise to Him was about me.

An example of this behavior; your husband/significant other is love-dovey, but if those moments of lovey-dovey aren't changing the things you most dislike about him, then what good do those displays of affection do?

I heard once someone say, "Anybody can be touched by God, but what good is it if we only get touched by God? We want God to dwell within us!", because this is the only way we will produce fruit and evidence that we are in a committed relationship.


My journey with God has changed for the better. 

I'm in a steady season where I have learned to be still and know that He is in control.
Whether in sickness or in health. Whether I'm getting my way or facing a circumstance where I'm being forced to yield. Or whether the bank account wants to agree with weekend plans or not.
I am not doing this by my own strength, 2 Timothy 1:7 promises that when I walk with God a spirit of fear no longer has legality over my mind. Anxiety can longer set a lethargic resting place in my thoughts, NOPE, for God has not given me a spirit of fear, but one of power, love and a sound mind. 



My seeking for God and His face will always be a part of who I am. Every season with Him is new and exciting and I look forward with expectation and anticipation to getting acquainted more with the God that loved me to such extreme measure, that was the passion of the cross.

I hope that this helps you. If you are in a place where your relationship with God is beginning to feel silent or even stagnant- scroll back up- and remember (Deuteronomy 31:8)  HE will never leave you nor will he forsake you. 
I pray that you will desire to sit in a still place of chaotic, imperfection challenges and still admire and adore Him for who He is and not for what He can do for us.

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